“Yes of course I got your text — I’m ignoring it. Don’t make it weird.”
28 Life-Changing Things Anna Kendrick Tweeted In 2015
Everything You Need To Know About Riz Ahmed
Get to know the birthday boy.
Riz Ahmed celebrates his birthday today and this year has proven that his star is rapidly rising.
He's earned a role in Rogue One: A Star Wars Story alongside the likes of Forest Whitaker, Diego Luna, and Felicity Jones. You can catch him with Rooney Mara and Indira Varma in next year's Una. And he recently snagged a role in the fifth installment of the Bourne series.
Jamie Mccarthy / Getty Images
He graduated from Oxford with a degree in Philosophy, Politics and Economics.
University of Oxford / ox.ac.uk
He raps under the name Riz MC...
All The Times Jackie And Kelso Kissed On "That 70's Show"
For all the Ashton Kutcher/Mila Kunis truthers out there.
Stephen Dunn / Getty Images
Frazer Harrison / Getty Images
But for those of us counting, how many times did the pair kiss each other on the show as Jackie and Kelso?
FOX / images6.fanpop.com
Drake Got Sad When He Found Out Justin Bieber Instagrammed An Old Picture Of Jelena
Drake, your friendly neighborhood Jelena stan.
Last night at approximately 10-ish p.m.-ish, Justin Bieber brought the world to a screeching halt when he uploaded this photo of himself and Selena Gomez chillin' on a quad bike to Instagram:
Naturally, everyone and their mother lost their shit. JUSTIN HAS ACKNOWLEDGED JELENA. IT'S REAL! THEY ARE BACK.
But wait just a gosh-dern second. An hour later Justin edited his Instagram caption to say, "Just a throwback calm down."
Kris Jenner Has Declared Scott Disick Her True Love
Well, one of them at least.
Now, Kris hasn't always been Scott's biggest fan.
E!
And arguably, rightfully so.
E!
Tell Us About Your Self(ie): David Koechner
Araya Diaz / Getty. Andrew Richard / BuzzFeed
What’s the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?
Go to the bathroom.
When you walk into a bar, what do you typically order?
The best IPA on draft. Some favorites are Racer 5 from Bear Republic Brewing Co., Lagunitas’ IPA, Sculpin from Ballast Point, West Coast by Green Flash Brewing Co., and Stone IPA from Stone Brewing Co.
What's the one word you are guilty of using too often?
God dammit.
What is the last thing you searched for on Google?
Map games for kids. For my kids.
Who is the last person that called or texted you?
My wife.
What's the wallpaper on your phone and/or computer?
My wife.
What was the last awkward situation you were in and how did you handle it?
I had the flu and threw up in a trash can during an on-camera media interview… then went right back to the interview. Sorry, AOL Entertainment.
What is your TV guilty pleasure?
Shark Tank
Andrew Richard / BuzzFeed
What's the first CD you bought?
Older format than a CD… but Rolling Stones Hot Rocks.
And what music are you currently listening to?
Wilco
What is the one food you cannot resist?
Pizza
What movie makes you laugh the most?
Monty Python Life of Brian
What toppings do you like on your pizza?
Pepperoni
What drives you absolutely crazy?
People who are inconsiderate.
What was your first online screen name?
Probably just my name… I didn’t have Instant Messenger like you kids in middle school. I think the only electronic existing when I was in middle school was the overhead projector.
What’s the last thing you copied & pasted on your phone?
The link to a movie trailer that I then texted my publicist to please post on social media. The movie is called Priceless. Hits theaters in 2016. If she’s doing her job, the trailer should be posted on my Facebook page by now. *wink*
What’s your favorite curse word?
Cocksucker
Andrew Richard / BuzzFeed
What's your favorite emoji?
Thumbs up… unless it’s a kiss emoji to my wife.
Pick one: Kittens or puppies?
Puppies
New York or Los Angeles?
Los Angeles – with a shout out to Kansas City.
Twitter or Instagram?
Twitter. Follow me @DavidKoechner.
Bacon or Nutella?
Bacon
Britney or Christina?
Britney
Coffee or tea?
Coffee
NSYNC or BSB?
No
2am or 2pm?
2pm
Beyonce or Rihanna?
Bey
Netflix and chill or just Netflix?
Just Netflix
Hannah Montana or Lizzie McGuire?
Hannah Montana. I did three episodes.
And finally: tell us a secret.
I’m not really bald. I shave it.
Andrew Richard / BuzzFeed
Krampus is in theaters everywhere Friday, December 4!
21 Times Zac Efron Made Your Damn Jaw Drop In 2015
Pretty much any time he breathed, moved, talked, walked, etc.
When he seductively danced to the Macarena while wearing nothing but some baby pink boxer briefs and a stuffed hornet.
Lionsgate
And then showed off his LITERALLY INSANE rock hard bod that rivals that of a damn Greek god.
Lionsgate
When he smirked so sweetly.
Frazer Harrison / Getty Images
When he leaned against a wall, delicately drinking a soda and increasing your level of thirst by 100.
Vasquez / Vasquez/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES
Which Holy Activity Should You Do For Britney Spears' Birthday?
Britmas comes but once a year.
16 Things Martha Stewart Tweeted In 2015 That Will Make You Laugh For Absolutely No Reason
Like, no reason at all but why is it so good?
Far to coup:
Farro soup***
More about farro soup.
Coming up: MARTHA.
It's Time We Realize Britney Spears Is Actually God
Happy 34th bb.
Ordained by the blessed womb and Holy Spearit that is Lynne Spears’ vagina, Britney Jean Spears was basically immaculately concepted because she is Godney, bitch.
For 34 years now, the woman known simply as "Godney Jean" (or Brenda Joan -- long story) has been slaying your faves, flipping her hair, and forgiving your sorry ass sins.
Christians never even stood a chance.
Via fuckinglovebrit.tumblr.com
In her 34th year, Britney Spears has taken to Instagram like your problematic aunt has taken to Facebook.
Kendall Jenner And Gigi Hadid Are No Longer Kind Of Almost Related
They were never related, but now they are even more not related.
Valerie Macon / AFP / Getty Images
That is until today. Because now that David and Yolanda Foster are getting divorced, Gigi and Kendall are less than almost relatives. They are just not relatives.
A Quick Shout-Out To Lupita Nyong'o's Umbrella Man
He deserves it.
THIS IS THE FACE OF A MAN WHO'S DEDICATED TO CREATING A DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD...
Raymond Hall / GC Images
...KEEPING OUR QUEEN, LUPITA NYONG'O, DRY.
Raymond Hall / GC Images
He's not here to steal the spotlight...
He follows, but not too close.
Raymond Hall / GC Images
He's not here to keep himself dry...
He's clearly outside of the umbrella.
Raymond Hall / GC Images
Miley Cyrus Sent Britney Spears "Britney" Balloons For Her Birthday
Miley knows who the queen is.
As you should know, yesterday was Britney Spears' birthday.
And she had a special little surprise party decorated with "BRITNEY" balloons.
See:
And they were sent by the one and only MILEY CYRUS.
47 Of The Most Important Cher Tweets Of The Last 5 Years
“What’s going on with mycareer”
Cher's Twitter game is legendary. Her account started pretty low-key:
And it only got better:
Here's to five more glorious years of Cher tweets.
Kylie Jenner Was Investigated By Animal Control After Someone Complained Of Her Dogs' Weight
Don’t worry, everything checked out A-OK.
You might have heard of an 18-year-old named Kylie Jenner.
Jason Merritt / Getty Images
Besides being a reality TV star/ designer/ businesswoman/ model, she's also the proud mommy of Italian greyhounds Norman and Bambi.
She also "has" a third dog, Sophia, who's actually her BFF's pup.
Recently Kylie posted a Snapchat of her dogs. And since she's a member of the Kardashian/Jenner dynasty, it received a bit of ~attention~.
Call Off Dora The Explorer, Rob Was "Around" At The Kardashian's Thanksgiving
Swiper didn’t swipe Rob.
Remember how the entire Kardashian-Jenner clan got together at Khloé's place for Thanksgiving?
And literally everyone was there INCLUDING Tyga and this rando who turned out to be Kayne's BFF?
But for some reason Rob Kardashian, the only begotten son of Kris, was missing? AND EVERYONE WAS LIKE, "WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO ROB?!"
Queen JoJo Just Slayed All Your Faves (Except Adele) With This Powerful Tonight Show Performance
When Love Hurts <3
JoJo, the iconic princess of pop went on the Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon Wednesday to perform When Love Hurts the latest single off of her iconic tringle that was released earlier this year.
If you're on mobile play this one:
Things started off with an acapella version of the song. JoJo was accompanied by The Roots.
This is perhaps one of her best performances in a long time.
NBC
JoJo's vocals were PERFECT.
Overall the entire performance was a joy.
NBC
Black Twitter Had No Chill About "The Wiz Live!"
“This is so black. I’m in love.”
In case you haven't heard, The Wiz Live! was pretty much the best thing ever.
NBC
Seriously, the singing, the acting, the choreography — everything was just jaw-dropping.
NBC
But there was something else that was lit — and it's called Black Twitter.
Seriously, Black Twitter's game was ON POINT.
Mark Hamill Went Hilariously Undetected Dressed As A Stormtrooper On Hollywood Boulevard
What a trooper.
Luke Skywalk— ER... I mean Mark Hamill — walked around Hollywood Boulevard dressed as an undercover Stormtrooper. Obviously, things got pretty hilarious.
Unfortunately for everyone, no one picked up on the presence of The Force hiding underneath the Stormtrooper outfit.
Fortunately for us, it did result in some pretty hilarious exchanges...
Tell Us About Yourself(ie): Rob Schneider
Kevin Winter / Getty. Andrew Richard / BuzzFeed
What’s the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?
I write a novel. Then to prove that I'm just doing it for me, I burn it and then have some waffles.
When you walk into a bar, what do you typically order?
I usually try to order a extra gluten tequila.
What's the one word you are guilty of using too often?
Sandler.
What is the last thing you searched for on Google?
A shuffleboard table.
Who is the last person that called or texted you?
The Legendary Boxing Trainer Joe Goosen.
What's the wallpaper on your phone and/or computer?
My smiling little daughter.
What was the last awkward situation you were in and how did you handle it?
The TSA at the airport in the Midwest thought my green tea was something else green. They called the police over and we both laughed. And then we smoked it anyway.
Andrew Richard / BuzzFeed
What is your TV guilty pleasure?
Botched! I usually watch until I throw up.
What's the first CD you bought?
I was around for 8 tracks! I remember my first cassette! The Kinks!
And what music are you currently listening to?
We have some terrific music in Real Rob! I love Antonio Carlos Jobim and Johnny Hartman with John Coltrane.
What is the one food you cannot resist?
Spanish Jamon Imberico.
What movie makes you laugh the most?
A Fish Called Wanda.
What toppings do you like on your pizza?
I f#%king hate pineapple on pizza! Just the goat cheese and basil, please.
What drives you absolutely crazy?
My daughter spitting out the organic food that I cooked for her. And my wife, Patricia not putting food back in the fridge!
What was your first online screen name?
Cedric (the Bellman in Home Alone 2.)
What’s the last thing you copied & pasted on your phone?
How to say "Real Rob begins streaming on Netflix in Mexico and all Latin America December 1st" in Spanish.
What’s your favorite curse word?
Bi-ahtch!
What's your favorite emoji?
Dollar sign with nipple pasties.
Andrew Richard / BuzzFeed
Pick one: Kittens or puppies?
Guppies.
New York or Los Angeles?
Los Angeles... in the winter!
Twitter or Instagram?
Instahate.
Bacon or Nutella?
Jamon.
Britney or Christina?
Tiffany.
Coffee or tea?
Tea Station in San Gabriel.
NSYNC or BSB?
Bay City Rollers.
2am or 2pm?
Sleep at 2am, wake up at....
Beyonce or Rihanna?
Either of them, as long as they are tripping on stage.
Netflix and chill or just Netflix?
Netflix and season 2 of Real Rob!
Hannah Montana or Lizzie McGuire?
Lizzie Borden
And finally: tell us a secret.
My Netflix stock paid for most of the filming of Real Rob! Shhhhh!!!
Real Rob is now streaming at Netflix.