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Tell Us About Your Self(ie): Patti Stanger

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Jason Kempin / Getty Images

What is the wallpaper on your phone or computer?

There's two things. One is my mom, when I was like 6 years old. She just died. And then there's me and my boyfriend.

When you walk into a bar, what do you typically order?

Probably a glass of red wine, such as pinot noir or shiraz. Because If I do tequila I'm going to get laid that night. I know with tequila, you get babies. I have to be careful of that. I love wine now — I have a wine launching in the spring. So it's going to be my thing now, because I own part of Ty Ku Sakes. I can't say the name of the wine, because it hasn't launched yet, but there's going to be red and white and a rosé!

What's the one word you are guilty of using too often?

"Fuck." That was easy.

What's the last thing you searched for on Google?

My jewelry online! On shopbybravo.com, we just put it up there and I was seeing if it was in the search engine! And it was.

Who is the last person that called or texted you?

Jill Zarin! She wanted to go to lunch and I had already left town.

What was the last awkward situation that you were in and how did you handle it?

We were shooting the upfronts and doing Fashion Police, so I've got Kelly and George and Guiliana and Ms. Joan Rivers, and I'm just about to do my thing and my zipper broke on my Badgley Mischka dress, but Kelly told me, "It's the invisible zippers, it doesn't mean it doesn't fit!" And I had to sit and put my robe on and wear my robe and talk to them, while the cameras are rolling for NBC, while I'm waiting for the seamstress to sew my dress back up. I was so embarrassed.

When's the last time you went to a theater.

To see Joan Rivers! At the theater on Wilshire. And it was amazing, you have to see her, she's hysterical.

What's one TV show you think everyone should be watching?

American Horror Story! Pleeeeease bring it back! And also we are so addicted to House of Cards. I just want to dress like Claire [Underwood]. But also I want to appear as a witch on American Horror Story. Because I was a Wiccan, I was a real Wiccan for six years.

Oh! So we have to ask, what do you think about Carlton on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills?

You know, I look at a show like that differently than you do, because I'm on that network! But look, I don't think she was being so mean to Kyle about the Jewish thing, but I think Kyle wanted to know about witchcraft and I don't think she was friendly about telling her about it. I don't think Carlton is mean or anything, I just think there is another way to say, "Look, I am a Wiccan, I worship the ground, I worship the earth and the trees" — that's what a pagan does — "and I believe what goes around comes around." But when you start throwing around, "Hey, watch that before I whammy you from the dark side!" I've studied Kabbalah, I've studied Wicca, so you can't be like that. You can't throw stones at people, because karmically it's going to come back to you even worse then you threw it at them.

Do you remember the first CD you ever bought?

It was an album, and it was Carol King, Tapestry. It was my favorite album, it still is to this day. And I used the quote "And the sweet tasting good life is easily found way over yonder, that's where I'm bound, that's where I'm bound" in my high school yearbook.

What music are you listening to now?

I'm a Pink addict! I just went to see her in concert. It's my go-to music when I'm working out. But I'm also corny — like, I listen to Bette Midler, and old vintage Blondie. I have an eclectic collection. And then I listen to Enya when I want to relax in the bath, so I listen to all different stuff.

What movie makes you laugh the most?

There's so many! Probably when Harry Met Sally. Only because we've all been there. But Billy Crystal would never get her in real life. It would never fucking happen. But I still laugh at that movie, when she's having that orgasm I still crack up.

What drives you absolutely crazy?

People who don't follow through in their jobs. Like, they think they know everything, they don't ask for help, and then the whole entire domino system falls apart and you end up doing their work. So I'm paying for them, but I'm also doing their work at the same time. It makes no sense. But in California I have to expect that. It takes three times to get one job done.

Pick one: New York or Los Angeles?

Well, can I transplant all the intelligent people into L.A., and then it's the perfect city in the world? And maybe one-third of the bitches, but only one-third of them. Because if we take all of them, there would be no men left for us. Because they are angry and bitter in New York, the women, because they are not getting laid. And the vibrators aren't doing it for them.

Puppies or kittens?

Puppies! I have two labs!

Comedy or Drama?

Dramedy.

Bacon or Nutella?

Bacon. I'm a salt girl.

'80s or '90s?

'80s.

If you had to pick one: Hannah Montana or Lizzie Maguire?

Probably Hannah Montana.

Now tell us a secret.

I was a practicing psychic for three years. Actually four years. Because I did three with Gold Coast Media and then I did one, I ran the Kenny Kingston psychic network. And I had to learn how to do the cards, but I always had, like, a psychic gift of intuition. So I had to do the cards, which to me was limiting. So I would take your jewelry, and read you, and I learned how to do astrology during that period. Then my company was sold and downsized because they let computers take over our jobs, because it was a lot of telecommunication, so I left and I saved two years' worth of money and then I came out to California and did readings at parties, and I dressed as a gypsy. And Halloween was my favorite season because I'd be booked for two weeks straight, and I worked with millionaires on their boats. And it was crazy.


75 Celebrities You Will Never Look At The Same Way Again

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What you are about to read may change you forever.

1. Kesha has an IQ of 140 and scored 1500 on her SATs.
2. Oprah's real name is Orpah.
3. Marilyn Manson's real name is Brian.
4. Leonardo DiCaprio was named Leonardo because his pregnant mother was looking at a Leonardo da Vinci painting in a museum in Italy when DiCaprio first kicked.
5. Tim Allen was arrested in 1978 for possession of 1.4 pounds of cocaine and was jailed for two years.

en.wikipedia.org

6. Justin Timberlake's mother was Ryan Gosling's legal guardian while they filmed The Mickey Mouse Club.


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Helena Bonham Carter Has Dreadlocks Now

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And now you know.

David M. Benett / Getty Images

David M. Benett / Getty Images

David M. Benett / Getty Images

Kate Hudson's Brother Is That Hot Jerk On "Nashville"

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Mind blownnnn!!!!

Ok, so you know that record exec douche on Nashville named Jeff Fordham?

Ok, so you know that record exec douche on Nashville named Jeff Fordham?

Mark Levine / ABC via Getty Images


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22 Celebrities Defined By Urban Dictionary

It Finally Happened: Lady Gaga Was Voluntarily Puked On

Lady Gaga Wears Coffee Filter Dress Because "She's Really Fat Right Now"

Now You Can Watch Vanessa Hudgens Dance To Beyonce's "Yonce"


Kristen Bell Plays Kiss, Marry, Kill With "Veronica Mars" Characters

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A long time ago, they used to be friends…with benefits?

At the Los Angeles premiere of Veronica Mars on March 12, BuzzFeed invited Kristen Bell to play a Neptune-centric game of Kiss, Marry, Kill — an invitation she quickly regretted accepting. "I can't do this, this is excruciating," she giggle-shrieked at several of the scenarios we posed.

But like a trooper Kristen soldiered on. Here are her answers:

UPN


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Here's A Video Of Rihanna Kicking A Man Out Of The Men's Bathroom

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What’s happening and why was someone recording this moment?

The video begins with Ri BRIEFLY waiting for the ladies' room.

The video begins with Ri BRIEFLY waiting for the ladies' room.

She must've had to go because after a few seconds she makes her way into the men's room. Happens to the best of us.

She must've had to go because after a few seconds she makes her way into the men's room. Happens to the best of us.

The door shuts for a few seconds and we wonder why we're even watching this video of someone walking into the bathroom.

The door shuts for a few seconds and we wonder why we're even watching this video of someone walking into the bathroom.

SUDDENLY, she shoves a man out the door.

SUDDENLY, she shoves a man out the door.

WHO IS THIS MAN? WHY DID SHE SHOVE HIM? We don't know.


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Harry Styles Gets Heat For Posing With A Native American Headdress On

22 Celebrity Instagrams You Need To See This Week

Celeb Siblings Who Prove That The Older Sibling Is Always The Hottest

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Sure you thought he was hot — until you saw his older brother. These celeb siblings prove the theory that mom and dad get it right the first go-round.

Beyoncé and Solange Knowles

Beyoncé and Solange Knowles

There's a lot to be said for Solange's spunk and funky style -- and her cool gig as a DJ!

Tumblr / Via Iambeyonce.com

But I think we can agree that only one of the Knowles sisters "woke up like this":

But I think we can agree that only one of the Knowles sisters "woke up like this":

#Flawless

Tumblr / Via Iambeyonce.com

Chris and Liam Hemsworth

Chris and Liam Hemsworth

This one is tough, but let's talk it out: Sure, Miley's ex Liam is adorable, in that sheepish, kid brother kind of way.

Getty Images

But are you telling me you'd choose that over THOR?!

But are you telling me you'd choose that over THOR?!

Yes, Chris. Yes, I do.

Paramount Pictures/Marvel Entertainment


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Why Dane DeHaan Should Be Your New Hollywood Crush

Miley Cyrus Got A Lip Tattoo Of The Sad Kitty Emoji


Lady Gaga Shares Photo Of Herself In The Bathtub After Being Puked On

Aaron Paul, Ellie Goulding, And Lorde Ambushed People On A Date To Tell Them To Kiss

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If Aaron Paul tells you to kiss, you kiss.

Vinelebrity Jerome Jarre brought along some famous friends to ambush these two people and tell them to kiss:

vine.co

HIs famous friends were Aaron paul, Ellie Goulding and Lorde:

HIs famous friends were Aaron paul, Ellie Goulding and Lorde:

They wanted them to kiss...

They wanted them to kiss...

It was important that this happened.

It was important that this happened.


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Jason Segel Posed For A Photo Taken Through A Krispy Kreme Window

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Because he is awesome.

Reddit user peanutkid uploaded this great photo to Reddit yesterday with the following story:

Jason Segal is filming his new movie with Jessie Eisenburg in my hometown of Grand Rapids, Michigan, and my bastard sister got to meet him when he stopped at her place of work. I'm extremely jealous.

reddit.com

Is This Emma Watson Or Jennifer Lawrence?

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If you stare at this face meld for too long you might just hurt your brain.

imgur.com

The Exact Moment Zac Efron Finds Out He Was On Lindsay Lohan's Sex List

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Is this a face of denial or confession????

Lindsay Lohan reportedly wrote down this list of all the men in Hollywood that she's had sex with. Zac's name was on it (she spelled it Zack Effron, smh) and this was his face when he was asked about it.

HEH?

HEH?

WUH.

WUH.


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